Book Club Reflections

I am so glad to get back to my students this week.  It seems all the teacher workdays and holidays have made the last few weeks so choppy.  They now have a full four weeks before winter break to learn many exciting new things.  I am beginning to realize that I am nearing the end of my time with them. 

In writing all the many papers that I needed to complete this weekend, I realized just how much my Book Club impacted the students I have been working with.  When I received all their evaluations pre and post my meetings with them, they each had increased their lexile and STAR scores.  I am not saying that my time with them made all the difference, but I have to conclude that the time spent was worthwhile.   Not only did they begin to really blossom through the Book Club, but they each mastered some hurdles and obstacles that they have battled for some time.

For one, she just needed to learn to try without giving up or crying when it got a little more difficult.  As of today, I can proudly say that we have gone 3 weeks without one tear or one tantrum.  You may say this is not a step in the right direction, academically, but how will she thrive academically if she can’t push herself through the frustrations of possible failing?  I have become so proud of her small accomplishments over the last few weeks and she is beginning to see just how valuable her reading is becoming in the classroom.  She is even showing how she can control her frustrations in the classroom and, for that, I am so grateful.  It makes her day (and her teacher's day) go so much smoother.

For the boy in my group, along with finally reading for a challenge, he is beginning to find his confidence.  I listen to him read aloud, and in the beginning there were just words, but now there is expression and feeling.  This is a huge part to reading…to understand the words even before you speak them, to show the expression that the author wants you to feel while reading.  He has come a long way with his reading, and I have become so intrigued with the stories he’s reading because of the way he reads.  He is so expressive now and that takes practice.

I have been so impressed with these 2 students over the last couple months, and I hope that they continue to flourish after I am no longer there.  I know I didn’t make an enormous impact on their reading abilities, but I definitely made an impact on them.  And, even better, they made an impact on me, and I have learned so much from them!  I am truly going to miss my small Book Club, but I am so thankful for this opportunity with them.

Food for Thought...

Okay, so while driving home this evening after hearing about our student teaching requirements and our Lesson 3 requirements, it dawned on me that I have been less than encouraging to myself and others.  I know that we all feel overwhelmed, but rather than indulge in negative talk that only makes us feel more overwhelmed, I have decided to be more encouraging to myself and all those I come in contact with. 

We all know people that shed light on the negatives in their lives, but forget to exalt the positives.  I don’t want to be that person…not as a wife, not as a mother, and definitely, not as a teacher.  We have all been “called” to be teachers.  There is something in each of us that has driven us to complete this journey.  Yes, it is hard, but aren’t the rewards worth it?  Yes, it is a huge commitment, but would you want your child’s teacher to be less committed to their success?  Yes, I miss my family, but they know and I know that this part of the journey does not last forever.   I will not always be in school, working full time, and interning.  One day soon, I will be Ms. Adams, teacher extraordinaire.  That is all of our goals, right?  So why not be excited about what lays ahead rather than worried, stressed, and scared?  We have each other to lean on through all of this.

I have asked myself over the last few weeks, “Why be a teacher?”  I have come to realize it is because I have something that I can give to others.  Something that I want to share with others.  Some days I know that I have knowledge that can be shared, other days it’s experience that I can share, and then there are those days when it is just a smile or kind word.  Regardless of what the gifts are that I might share, the most important thing is that I continue to share.

We will all have those students that no one seems to know how to reach.  They get pushed to the side as “behavior problems”, “unteachable”, and “just a bad kid.”  Well, guess what?  These are the very students that need our gifts the most.  They need our commitment, our time, and our encouragement.  Yes, they may be a challenge for us, but aren’t these the very children we think of when we think of making a difference? 

Just food for thought this week while we ponder the upcoming commitments and goals that we are setting for ourselves on our journey to become teachers.

So Blessed...

            This week we lost another student.  My heart was broken because she was part of my Book Club, and she was finally getting to the point where she was comfortable enough to ask for help when she needed it.  We, my cooperating teacher and I, were not even aware that she would be leaving us until the withdraw notice came yesterday.  Monday was her last day.  I hope that she will excel in her new school.  She will be sorely missed!

            Yesterday, during the teacher workday, I was able to sit in on the team planning meeting.  The three 5^th grade teachers planned the next units for the remainder of the 2^nd nine weeks and the beginning of the 3^rd.  It was so comforting to see how they struggled and worked with one another to make the lesson plans (outlines really) come together.  It made me feel more at ease knowing that I have great sources to help me in my endeavors.  It also made me feel as if I was not alone in my own struggles to make a clear and concise lesson plan. 

            The high point of my day, which almost made me late to class, was listening to the curriculum facilitator and the 3 teachers come together to reform the guided reading groups.  It was reassuring to know that the teachers had some input in forming these groups and that it wasn’t just about EOG’s, lexile scores and SRI assessments.  I have seen in many schools where the teachers’ voices are not heard, and I am glad that this is not the case here.  The students are first listed by lexile and SRI scores, but then the teachers can say, “This one reads at a much higher level than the scores on paper.”  That way the student gets placed in the correct guided reading group, and there is room for them to grow or if they need to be placed in a lower group, that can happen as well.  The groups are not set for the whole year, as I have seen in other schools, and I think that is very important for the students to be able to move up or down as they need to, based on scores and performance.

            This week has been full of joys and sorrows, but, as my students have learned the past few weeks, we can persevere through the tough times to make it to the happier times.  If it were not for my love for these children and the passion I feel for helping them learn and learning new things myself from them, I do not think I would have made it this far into this semester.  I am just so blessed with this great group of children, fabulous cooperating teacher, and supportive colleagues.